From the earliest of ages, we see certain people do certain things. From that standpoint, we form affection for these people. We buy (or beg our parents to buy) posters, action figures, toys based on them, trading cards, you name it. Anyone remember “Colorforms?” When I was a kid, I got the Colorforms of my heroes, like Superman, Spiderman, Star Trek, etc. I had the toy motorcycle of “Evel Knievel,” the bridge set of the Enterprise of the original “Star Trek.” Had I known about Doctor Who, I would have gotten that, as well. But that came along later, around 1980 (I was a bit older, by then)…
Anyhow, what do the above have in common? Extraordinary abilities or talents. Why do people look up to these heroes? Simple… Real life is a fairly dull existence. I mean, think about it. Life is all about struggling to make ends meet, unless you are rich, then you are struggling to stay rich. Everything we do has the ultimate goal of somehow enriching our lives. We work, to pay the bills and to try and improve ourselves in some way, shape, or form… We go to school, in order to improve our work scenario and to try for a career that makes us us happy.
So, some of us look to these heroes for that extra something that might be lacking in our lives. Action, adventure, mystery, romance, even horror.. We like these things, because they are not ordinary, for most. When I became a teenager, I got into music very heavily. It started with Michael Jackson, with “Thriller…” My buddies and I played Michael Jackson to death. When they started selling Michael Jackson clothes, they got the “Beat It” jackets. I went the cheaper route and bought glittery socks and the glove (for those that weren’t there, at the time, this was a very popular look in 1983).
Of course, in our teenage state of oblivion, we had no idea how silly or foolish we looked, wearing this stuff. We didn’t care, we were living our Michael Jackson fantasy. The “Thriller” video was released, which was a fourteen minute mini-motion picture, complete with actors, credits, the works. We were in hero heaven, by this point. I remember putting my tape recorder up against the television and recording it. Later, when I had a “box” (portable stereo) with two cassette players, I tried VERY DAMNED HARD to remix the regular version of “Thriller,” to make it sound as close to the video version, as possible. Every weekend was spent staying up ALL NIGHT watching Night Tracks, because we didn’t have MTV. Night Tracks was this six-hour program that played only videos, from 11PM until about 6AM.
This period introduced many more musical heroes, including Duran Duran, Prince (more on him in a bit), The Human League, and many more. The idolization grew and we were soon doing our best to emulate Prince. I’m telling you, if they had sold purple trench-coats in 1984 in our town, I would have done everything possible to get one. But, as before, we went the more cheap route. We started going around talking about being “Uptown,” which was directly pulled from his 1980 song of the same name.
“She saw me walking down the streets
Of your fine city
It kinda turned me on when she looked at me
And said, “C’mere”
Now I don’t usually talk to strangers
But she looked so pretty
What can I lose,
If I, uh, just give her a little ear?
“What’s up little girl?”
“I ain’t got time to play.”
Baby didn’t say too much
She said, “Are you gay?”
Kinda took me by suprise
I didn’t know what to do
I just looked her in her eyes
And I said, “No, are u?”
Said to myself, said
“She’s just a crazy, crazy, crazy
Little mixed up dame.
She’s just a victim of society
And all it’s games.”
Now where I come from
We don’t let society
Tell us how it’s supposed to be
Our clothes, our hair
We don’t care
It’s all about being there
Everybody’s going Uptown
That’s where I wanna be
Uptown
Set your mind free
Uptown
Got my body hot
Get down
I don’t wanna stop, no
As soon as we got there
Good times were rolling
White, Black, Puerto Rican
Everybody just a-freakin’
Good times were rolling
She started dancing in the streets
Ow, girl, she’s just gone mad
U know, she even made love to me
Ooh, best night I ever had
Ah yeah
I never talk to strangers
But this time it’s all right
See, she got me hot, ah
I couldn’t stop, ah
Good times were rolling all night All night, yeah
Now where I come from
We don’t give a damn
We do whatever we please
It ain’t about no downtown
Nowhere bound
Narrow-minded drag
It’s all about being free
Everybody’s going Uptown
It’s where I wanna be
Uptown
U can set your mind free, yeah
Uptown
Keep your body hot
Get down
I don’t wanna stop, no
Uptown
Ooh, ooh, yeah
Uptown
Everybody’s going, everybody’s going
Everybody gotta gotta
Uptown
Now go-go-go, go-go-go
They’re going
Uptown
Uptown
Yeah, yeah, now, all now
Uptown
Gotta go-go-go
Uptown
Yeah, gotta go, gotta go
Uptown
C’mon, c’mon, you
U have to, you gotta go
Uptown
oh yeah
YEAH!”
Needless to say, this philosophy didn’t exactly fly in our small town. It made perfect sense, to us, but outside of our little circle, “Uptown” didn’t mean a damned thing. Shit, that didn’t stop us from trying. We would talk to girls, write down some Prince lyrics, you know, to try and be romantic. Now, this part, I should explain a little better. My buddies are black and skinny and I am white and chubby. So when we did this lyric writing shit, it usually worked for them, while when I did it, it always blew up in my face and embarrassed the shit out of me. Unfortunately, I can only remember one instance…
I was in the 11th grade in our “American Government” class. There was this girl I liked quite a bit, so I jotted down some of the lyrics to “Life Can Be So Nice…” from Prince’s “Parade” album. I should add that by this time, having went out of my way to emulate Prince, I had gotten a perm in my hair, dyed it black, and kept mousse/gel in it all the time. Now if you can, imagine a chubby white boy in a small southern town, walking around looking like this…
“This morning there was joy in my heart 4 I know that I love U so
Scrambled eggs are so boring 4 U’re all all that I wanna know
Kisses never lie when delivered with milk from your lips
Morning glories (never) cry my love 4 U baby drips
Oh life can be so nice
It’s a wonderful world sweet paradise
Kiss me once kiss me twice
Life can be so nice so nice
Life can be so nice
No one plays the clarinet the way U play my heart
I come a thousand different ways before I even start
U’re so nice
Shivering madly in your embrace is better than a trip
(Shivering madly in your embrace)
Morning glories never cry my love is just a-drippin’
(Better than a trip)
Scrambled eggs are boring mama U’re all I wanna know
(Morning glorified in every way)
This morning there was joy in my heart cuz I know that I love U so shit!
(My love 4 U baby drips)
So nice
(I know yes sir!)
Life can be so nice
It’s a wonderful world paradise (So nice)
Kiss me once kiss me twice
Life can be so nice (Life can be so nice)
Life can be so nice
It’s a wonderful world paradise
Kiss me once kiss me twice (Drip)
Life can be so nice so nice
So nice”
That’s the whole song, which I had HAND-WRITTEN.. I slipped her the note, thinking I was this super-cool motherfucker… When the bell rang to change classes, I overheard her and a friend walking out of class. I guess the friend asked her what I wrote or something. All I heard was “I don’t know, something about some scrambled eggs or something…” Of course, my face turned red, instantly. I hung back, to let her get out of the room first, just so I wouldn’t have to make eye-contact with her, which would embarrass me, further.
So, what has all this got to do with the title? Everything… Prince could have handed that girl the note and had her fawn all over him. I was not Prince, I was a stupid-ass, moronic, teenager dressing and trying to act like Prince. Of course, it was doomed to fail, miserably. As an adult, I see all that stuff for what it was, growing pains. We emulate our heroes in a sort of search for our own identity. Prince’s identity was not my own identity. However, it is entirely possible to annex qualities from your heroes and make those qualities, themselves, your own. A good example of this is my favorite hero, Doctor Who. I watched this show, since 1980. What he did was solve problems, using his intelligence. He didn’t pull out guns, except on rare occasions. While I do not travel through time or encounter hostile aliens, I do run across real-life problems and I learned how to deal with them in the same manner.
So, we are not our heroes, but our heroes can inspire us to be a much better “us.”
Words of The Master 